دبي، الإمارات العربية المتحدة (CNN) -- "أردت دوماً أن يكون حجم ثديي أكبر بمقاس أو اثنين"، "أشعر أنني غير مكتملة، أنني نصف إنسانة"، "أشعر بالإحراج عند الذهاب إلى الصالة الرياضية".. هذه ليست إلاّ بعض من الرسائل التي تلقتها الفنانة الهندية إيندو هاريكومار عن علاقة النساء الشائكة بحجم أثدائهن.
فبين امرأة تعتقد أن صدرها الصغير قد جعلها غير مرغوبة على الإطلاق، وأخرى تشعر بالإحراج من ثدييها الكبيرين، كيف نقلت الفنانة هاريكومار هذه المعاناة في أعمالها؟
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#identitty please swipe for details "My mum and her mum and her mum (from what I've heard) are quite well-endowed with regard to breast size. Even pre-childbirth, my mum says, she was a size 36D. I didn't give this much thought; it was often casually remarked on that I had booby genes that I would grow into in time. As a teenager, my closest friend was a puritan person who thought that sexuality is reserved for marriage and all those who think otherwise are 'sluts'. It wasn't till her flyaway comment "wow, careful with your boobs, guys are going to think you are easy" that I gave my growing breasts a second glance. A guy friend commented on a picture of mine wearing a T-shirt with "great knockers, puberty kicking in, huh?" and it only served to further make me conscious. I started becoming obsessively self aware, stopped wearing T-shirts, started getting clothes two sizes too big for me, while somehow simultaneously living in denial-town and getting wrong (small) sized bras. At an age where the only thought people have is how to make my body boy-approved, I stayed up nights scared that every boy I know was thinking of me as some scarlet woman, and when I wasn't obsessing over this, I stayed up because my chest and back hurt due to the constricting cages that I wore and called bras. It took adulthood and the world for me to break out of the conditioning. I'm still not completely free of the shackles; I still steer clear of T-shirts, and I think my desire to not have children is probably subconsciously fueled in part from the fear of going up a few bra sizes. Nevertheless, when I send a nude to a guy today, or undress in front of someone, and see the wonderment in their eyes or the praise they give me, I have learned to pick power from that, rather than cower away." They said, "If you do draw me, please draw me in a bedroom if possible, because that us where I've felt the most powerful. Thank you, "knockers"' Background reference: #Klimt wall of #Clutteristhan #art #artist #artistsoninstagram #breasts #brownbodies #womensbodies #digitalart #procreate #crowdsourcedartprojects #illustration #illustrator #feminism #feminist#bodypositive #womenwhodraw
وقالت الفنانة الهندية لموقع CNN بالعربية، إن فكرة مشروع "Identity"، بدأت بعدما أجرت هاريكومار محادثة مع أحد متابعيها على موقع "إنستغرام"، تمحورت حول نهديها الكبيرين، إذ ألقت عليهما المسؤولية فيما يرتبط بالتعليقات الجنسية التي تسمعها.
وفي المقابل، كانت هاريكومار قد أفصحت عن المشاعر التي تخالجها كونها امرأة بصدر مسطح، الأمر الذي جعلها تعتبر نفسها "نصف إنسانة". ومن هنا، قررت الفنانة الهندية أن تدعو جميع النساء إلى مشاركة قصصهن.
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#identitty "My breasts are not perky. There's a natural sag in them. Maybe it runs in the family or maybe because of my fluctuating weight. Also my aerolas have bigger radius than the average. It's not something you see in a porn movie or Bollywood screen. My breasts have given in to gravity. It's funny to think that a submissive person like me has a pair of submissive breasts too. What better way to show that our bodies reflect our personality. Every boy who sees them has a different opinion about them. Some love the long cleavage, some are inconsiderate to the shape as long as you let them suck on it but all of them want my boobs to grow bigger. I wonder if it is ever going to be enough. When I gain weight, my breasts grow bigger but then they comment on my waist being too thick. It's like a competition to fit in a cardboard cutout, which I deeply despise but yet aspire to. Everytime I invite a new man in my life, this competition gets more intense. It leads my fingers to continually scroll through Instagram to visualise that cardboard cutout more clearly. Maybe one day I will fit in that cutout but at what cost?" They said, "Can you draw me in a starlit sky?" Background #inspiration: #VanGogh's The Starry Night #art #artist #artistsoninstagram #breasts #brownbodies #womensbodies #digitalart #procreate #crowdsourcedartprojects #illustration #illustrator #feminism #feminist#bodypositive #womenwhodraw #saggyboobsmatter
وهذه الدعوة المفتوحة، قد خففت عن هموم العديد من النساء، الأمر الذي جعلهن يطمئن أنهن لسن وحدهن اللواتي يرغبن بثديين مثاليين. وبالتالي، تلقت هاريكومار ردود فعل إيجابية وقصص لنساء، تراوحت فئاتهن العمرية بين 18 عاماً و58 عاماً.
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#identitty "Save that awkward window of one adolescent year when the sides of my chest started to heave up and hurt real bad, I've always had a very loving relationship with my breasts. When I say my breasts, I really mean my boobs. Breast is too clinical a word for something so punk, right? From the teenage years of excitedly scrounging for sturdier, better padded bras to realising I won't be dealing with additional padding in this lifetime; from my breath catching when a college boyfriend's eyes visibly widened as he marvelled at their shape and softness (R and I are now pukka friends, and there's no way I can relieve the memory in a conversation. So now it's just a stray-day thought that leaves me smiling whenever it crosses my idle mind) to the first time I made the small but heart-flippin' move of taking a partner's hands and cupping them around my chest (not long ago, haan? Can't imagine what took me so long. Could it be because men anyway start by reaching for them like Harry grabbing the portkey to Quidditch World Cup? Hehe), my boobs have always been my badge of confidence. To the point that they are my first point of contact when I am pleasuring myself. Which in turn, makes me wonder how I'd respond to another woman's boobs, should I ever encounter one (woman) in bed? It is the decade-long, positive interaction with my boobs (I'm 28) that form the crux of a question I often mull over--how curious is my 'bi-curious'? I am, as you can tell, yet to find out. But if/when I do, I'd pay conscious heed to whether I field the same clumsy-cute portkey movements from women partners, or if we are more about glowing hickies and mindful kisses. I feel silly for wondering, but is there a gender to touch? How differently would she touch my boobs than I remember R, S or S touching? I've never felt an immediate-immediate urge to find out, but it's one of those things makes me curious when it crosses my mind. I think it'd be fun to find out." They said, "My favourite places to be are inside of books, or beside billis. Neither books nor cats scare/shame easy. That's how I would always hope to be about my breasts, about all of my body, and my self." #art
وبمجرد ما أن تمعنت الفنانة الهندية في الرسائل التي وصلتها، لاحظت أن حجم الثديين يلعب دوراً في تحديد شخصية الأنثى. وقالت إن "الأثداء ليست من نوع واحد، وكذلك تجارب النساء. أشعر أنه عندما نقرأ عن تجارب الناس، يخلق ذلك نوعاً من التعاطف".
واليوم، تستمر هاريكومار في العمل على مشروعها الخاص، وذلك برسم القصص التي وصلتها من نساء كانت غالبيتهن من الهند، وبعضهن الآخر في أمريكا، وأوروبا، وماليزيا.